Nightmare in St Petersburg!

– first published some years ago and now updated, it clearly demonstrates how Leaders need to be on their guard...for every eventuality! As always, everything you will read is true.

It’s a beautiful city, St Petersburg. No doubt about it. Full of historical significance, architectural beauty, and not forgetting the incomparable ‘White Nights’ in the deep summer months. I visited many times on business but one occasion stands out - for all the wrong reasons. I am rather happy not to repeat the experience...I hope my young leadership followers will heed the following warning of my own personal and very real nightmare.

It all started when I attended a business conference as a guest speaker. The scene was set. We were meeting at the splendid St Petersburg Kempinsky Hotel, my speech was well rehearsed and the moderator was generous in his introduction to my session. My words flowed easily, no notes required. My prose interspersed with relevant and emotional video clips captured my audience . If I may say so myself, I was a triumph! My presentation was one of the best I have ever made, even receiving an exclamation of ‘wow!”

from a member of the audience at the end of my speech. It blended into a rapturous warm applause from the esteemed assembled guests. It couldn’t get much better and during the following coffee break I was immediately surrounded by interested enthusiastic people asking me questions and wanting to establish business contacts. One thing followed another and before you could say “Pushkin” it was already time for dinner. Very quickly my new found ‘friend’, a CEO of a Finance company from Belarus, had invited a small group of us to a “traditional Russian dinner”. Who am I to refuse my newfound buddies? Off we went, and a few walked streets later l found myself in a “typical old fashioned Russian restaurant” according to our host. Frankly speaking I wasn’t really sure of his credentials, after all he was a ‘foreigner’ to St Pete but he seemed confident, knowledgeable, and very charming. Clearly St Petersburg held no secrets to this man. Without waiting for an answer, he pronounced “it is customary in Russia to drink Vodka during the meal…as well as wine”. And so my evening began.

Now I have to admit I am not such a huge fan of Vodka. Personally, when it comes to ‘short’ drinks, I am more of a traditional British Gin &Tonic type of chap. Plymouth Gin of course. On the other hand, I do like socialising and there is a saying in England as indeed many countries, ‘When in Rome…do as the Romans do'. So what the heck! I joined in with gusto and you know what…the quality was good…very good. Im talking of course about the socialising.....and the drink. With a silky smooth flow the Vodka seemed to slide down effortlessly. Maybe I am really converted afterall? That Beluga is fine stuff indeed. And thanks to the generosity and enthusiasm of our friendly host from Belarus the quantity was in good supply too. I started to lose count of the bottles of various drinks (yes, soon we were mixing) and, frankly speaking, started to lose count of just about everything else.

Well I know my limits of course – age does that to you. Not only that but as a leader one always need to be conscious that you are representing your organisation and team. Best not overdo it. Definitely leave before embarrassment ensues. So soon it was time to depart. Strangely our host felt a little unwell (no stamina these Eastern Europeans I decided) and, feeling remarkably intact, I headed off with a few remaining but tough financing experts back to the hotel. Unfortunately included in the mix were a couple of guys from Asset Management and if there is one thing well known in the financial industry its that asset managers are good at drinking. Very good as it happens. Well of course, one or two drinks ‘for the road’ later and I too finally decided it was time to go to bed. It wasn’t an early start. Conference call at 9am in the hotel then pick up by the St Pete office driver at 10am. Easy! Even time for breakfast. Or so I thought……

I felt in remarkably good condition as I prepared for bed. Of course I was determined not to be late in the morning – it was a late start – the last thing I wanted was to be embarrassed by being even later! And of course I had enjoyed a ‘few’ drinks, so, just as a precaution I set my alarm for 7.30am. Normally I never need an alarm clock. And then……off to a peaceful sleep…..

It was with hesitation that I slowly started to wake up. The curtains were drawn but I could just make out the light trying to pierce its way through a gap. I slowly leaned across to the bedside table and looked at my alarm on my smart phone…wait a minute….what? Oh no!!! It can’t be!! Was it really already 11am!!!! WHAT!!!! All kinds of things rushed through my mind. What happened to my alarm? Oh my goodness, is the driver still waiting? Why had nobody tried to call me? I had to find out what was happening. I just could not understand it. I had no headache, thank goodness, but my embarrassment more than made up for that. I rushed to the window, opened the curtains and streaming sunny light flooded the room. Clearly it was far later than 7.30 am!!!

Then came my next big shock. IT WAS NOT MY ROOM! “What the…….???” I couldn’t believe it! What had happened? It was truly crazy. But wait, all my things ARE in the room. So what on earth happened last night? Thankfully I was alone (I did double check the bathroom – in case it was the ultimate horror) but I was truly in a state of rising panic and complete confusion. Well what can I do? I will have to go to reception and kind of try and find out what happened? I hope I didn’t do anything terrible! Did I really have so much to drink? I just couldn’t understand it at all. That damned Vodka!

But worse was to come. As I threw some clothes on and headed, dishevelled, out of my room I suddenly realised I was in an even worse situation. Not only was I not in the room I checked into, I was not even in the correct hotel! I had no idea where I was. Oh no, this is terrible and getting worse by the second. I don’t even know where I am! What to do? I had no option, I had to go outside and get my bearings. I could hardly go to reception and ask how I got to this hotel…let alone what hotel it was! No, I had to go outside and find out where in the city I was. Well, thankfully, it was obvious that I was still in St Pete. That, at least was something. But all the while I felt really in a state of panic. I just couldn’t understand how I had got to this situation. I had an awful premonition that I had done something terrible and had been shipped off to the first hotel someone could find. But I still had no idea where in the city I was.

I decided to ask a passer by. I have learnt in Russia it is a waste of time speaking to strangers of my generation in English – invariably they don’t speak my language and my command of eastern european languages was about as good as effective as chocolate kettle. But if I pick a younger person there was a good chance. Especially in St Petersburg. So I found a young student type and asked him: “I’m sorry to trouble you but can you tell me where the Kempinsky hotel is please?” Luckily he answered in good English and with obvious knowledge of the city. “Yes, of course, its across the square over there”..and then I could see the Navisky Prospect, the Hermitage in the distance and I knew at least where I was and where I had started this awful journey. I turned back to my new guide to thank him. Just at that moment, I watched in horror, in a kind of slo-motion action film, as he opened his mouth and breathed a shaft of fire which headed towards me about to engulf me in flames!

Yes, it was indeed at that precise moment that I woke up with a start! I quickly checked my alarm. 7.30am. I was in my own room. In my own hotel. You could not meet a happier more relieved person than me at that precise point of time. The whole thing, the whole extraordinary and vivid experience was a complete dream. A nightmare in fact. I was so relieved! And nobody had to tell me the significance of that shaft of flame from that person’s mouth – it represented the copious quantity of Vodka I had drunk the night before.

Needless to say, I am very cautious now about Vodka. I have learnt that weak Westerners at least must handle it with respect! I never really enjoyed that drink anyway. After that experience I like it even less. G&T, for me at least, does not seem to have the same effect. I consider it a warning and one that I will always remember.

….and no, I did not have a headache.

© 2023 Andreas Swadlo

Need a refresh of your leadership style? Feeling stressed and with nobody to turn to? Want to turn things around or help other people do the same? Or maybe you just want to make the best speech of your life?....without complications! Or Vodka.

If you do I can help. I or my associates can support you with a fresh approach to leadership issues, we can give you the power to de - stress and we can help you to make your communications memorable, meaningful and truly motivational.

Whether you want to totally transform your business, start a new one or simply refine a winning team then let me know. I truly believe that leadership matters....and that great leadership can make a great difference.